Hi so as you can probably tell by the horrid caliber of this I wrote it really late at nite...I should have been asleep for like two hours...=_= anyways here is a piece of my writing...
From underneath the branch came a soft plaintive cooing. A large almost white hawk desperately pulled at the branch. When removed the source of the cooing became evident, underneath it was a snow-white hawk,
"Mother!" cried the hawk staring at her mangled form
"Oh No! Mom, No!" a younger black hawk flew down from the stump of the branch
The first hawk was standing over his mother, "Izak what were you thinking? It's ma-matricide."
I-I d-don't-t kn-now it-it's n-not m-my fault." Both young hawks were sobbing.
Hehe like i said its horrible...Well im not a very good writer...I sorta want to extend this....oh well...>_<
Monday, February 18, 2008
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1 comment:
I like it, but your missing a few commas and I think you should give the second "snow white hawk" another color.
:) :) :) good work
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